Archive | June 2005

Cherish What You Have

Cherish what you have.
Cherish what you have.
Cherish what you have.
Cherish what you have.
Cherish what you have.
Cherish what you have.
Cherish what you have.
Cherish what you have.
Cherish what you have.
Cherish what you have.
Cherish what you have.
Cherish what you have.
Cherish what you have.
Cherish what you have.
Cherish what you have.
Cherish what you have.
Cherish what you have.
Cherish what you have.
Cherish what you have.
Cherish what you have.
Cherish what you have.
Cherish what you have.
Cherish what you have.
Cherish what you have.
Cherish what you have.

… or so I keep telling myself.
Sometimes you just have to fight for it, not just let everything fall in place. The fight is hard, but it’s worth it. For better or for worse, it’s worth it.

Advertisements

Still That Awful Feeling

I bet everyone has had one of those days, where everything seemingly goes wrong, and somehow, when things don’t go wrong, I get the feeling that things are seemingly going wrong without me knowing it. From the moment you wake up, you have that dreaded feeling that things just won’t go your way…

Misunderstandings, Misconceptions and Misgivings

The day that didn’t start out right actually began before today, last night, when everything was still dark but noisy, when the skies stayed silent instead of pouring rain and instants of light, when a lot of people were still hurrying home by whatever means possible. The body was tired, but I felt obligated to accompany two close friends to another friend’s wedding to a location, which to some people would be considered almost out of town. We didn’t stay long, as we hardly knew anyone there, and we went to Gelato to cool the night down with some hot drinks and chit chat.
The talk was okay, the company was okay, but the body still did not feel well, and I was somehow already upset about something; something almost within grasp, but always just almost.
Later in the night a co-worker called me to ask a few questions about work; since I had left the office from 2 PM that day for a meeting, I did not return to the office and had no idea what transpired. Apparently there was a big, screaming misunderstanding between 3 co-workers, which could of been settled by giving me a short call (which none of them did). That added to the bad mood, as I have always had some reservations towards the lack of good communication between some co-workers, thus proven by this event. My body was also too tired to get on with work after reaching home, so I slept with a restless heart, waking up almost every hour; and eventually getting up at 6.30 AM to do a bit of work.
Hoping, expecting and waiting were never one of my better traits, and always bordered on worrying and getting restless all the time, because of something that bothers me, and because of something that still shows no light of ever settling. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t… the uncertainty kills me.
Later I have to lead up a big meeting… hopefully the mood will be better then.

Ugh!

It’s been a tiring couple of weeks; I want to get away for a while to the mountains, but I’m stuck here in front of the computer at home, doing endless streams of data entry. Don’t think it’ll be finished for another week, because I have to upload some picture files as well. Think I’m going to just short cut it and input all the data, and send the picture files together with the original documents to the client and let them worry about the picture uploading.
Sitting in the cool air in the mountains, with a hot cup of tea, or maybe one of those cup noodle things, with something nice to read, a guitar to strum, or warm company, would be very refreshing. I’m tempted to just ditch this work (again) for the weekend, but if I do that the work will just drag on longer…

That Day That Always Comes Around Every Year

Hey, so, it’s been a few days since my last post. I’ve been totally busy, working in the day and working in the night. There has been a lot of stuff to finish, and even now I’m not finished yet. Nevertheless, last Tuesday, June 21st, was my birthday.
June 21st started off with me at an internet cafe, as suddenly my home internet connection faltered, and I had to run there to finish my work for the day. At 12 AM, I was sitting in front of the computer, uploading data, when the first phone call came in. Even before that call, uncannily, a friend posted a ‘happy birthday’ testimonial for me, and I read it at about 12 AM, ha ha… what are the chances?
I only stayed at the internet cafe til 2 AM, because I was already dead tired by then, and I went home. Mom being Mom, insisting that she come over with homemade pizza for me to bring to the office, showed up at my place at about 7.30ish… bringing pizza… and a brand new DVD player! I was…. stoked! Didn’t see that one coming, as usually my parents don’t buy me anything special for my birthday, and I never expected them to. The funny thing is… the TV I’m using is as old as me, so the DVD player is temporarily unuseable (except as a CD player). Ha ha… so I guess I’ll have to buy a new TV when I have enough money to spare.
So anyway… Mom dropped me off at the office with the pizza, which was apparently not enough for office friends. I had to buy a chocolate cake later in the day so I could give out enough to everyone. Nelly, Detta, Sarah and Zaki pitched in and got me an electric shaver, to my suprise! I hardly have a beard, and I usually shave about once in 3 days… but of course, an electric shaver is kind of like a “stepping stone” towards the future, hhahaha….
At lunch time, apparently my office friends conspired for us to eat out together, and they bought a cake and one simple candle… and sung “happy birthday”… I was suddenly touched, as it had been a long time since anybody actually celebrated my birthday without me pulling everyone for lunch or dinner together. Thanks, guys…
I spent the rest of the night working again; with a lot of my friends asking, why aren’t you out celebrating or anything? Well, truth to be said, I’m broke, and had a lot of work to do…
Well, anyway, until yesterday there were still some calls and SMSes saying happy belated birthday… hehe…
So far, this is the most memorable birthday, since I love suprises, and I got a lot of that!

Middle Ground

I think it’s best to walk upon the fence rather than face absolutes all the time. Well, at least for now. Fence is good.

[Place Profanity Here]

I don’t know what I want. Everything is just kind of hanging in limbo, nothing actually going one way or the other, and nothing really going the way I wanted them. Well… I’m used to things never going the way I want or planned, but this is going nowhere.
It’s kind of like I’m frustrated with everything. One push and the temper lid goes off. To anybody. I really wish that someone could just help calm me down, but even the closest of friends tend to piss me off these days (um… long story). Things are not looking good, and yet again, I cannot rely on my friends to help ease everything out. I feel that they’re just adding to the fire…
Man, I need some stress relief.