Archive | September 2005

Masih Lho

aku masih bingung… belum selesai juga ternyata.
entah bagaimana supaya cepat selesai, dan berhenti uring-uringan. aduh… bingung.
nanti saja pulangnya… sementara bangku ini masih mau menerimaku.

My Life In One Post

I read this post on a friend’s blog; although she didn’t tag me to do this, I felt intrigued to do it anyway, while I’m in the contemplating mood.

20 YEARS AGO
Sydney, Australia; in a small terrace house on Hordern Street, Newtown (a suburb of Sydney). Already top of the class with spelling and language, and having my first crush, Rosemary Forsyth, red hair, freckles and all. A 6th grader who lives on my street keeps hitting my head when I pass, and only when my brother chases him off he stops. I bring snacks to school provided by Mom; who works in a textile factory to make ends meet, and Dad has his PhD to finish (he had only just started). Life is… simpler.

10 YEARS AGO
10th grade, or 1st year of high school, in Bogor, Indonesia. I went to a Catholic school reknowned for it’s quality of education; but also the amount of rich kids in it. I moved on there from the junior high in the same complex, for the reason that most of my friends continued there, and the high school also had a good extracullicular program. Lots of events, band-related stuff, and so on. I played in a band, played guitar and also sung a bit. I was still getting over my junior high school crush, Lusi; I eventually named my acoustic guitar after her. I bought my first guitar effect, the Metal Zone, with my own savings. My brother, who had not lived with our family since 1991, had already moved to Yokohama, Japan.

5 YEARS AGO
Bandung, Indonesia. It’s my 3rd year at a top technology institute there, studying product design; but I was more busy with the preparations for Pasar Seni ITB 2000, a one-day event selling… well, art (in the loosest definition possible). I helped out PR and publicity for the event, and also headed up the official souvenir shop for the event. It meant sourcing for souvenirs, and managing the store on the event. Man… it was a riot. We made more in one day than I can make in a year now. And our store was one of the smaller stores in the event… I finished building my acoustic bass guitar, which in time will become the best decision I ever made. I had been with my 2nd girlfriend for over a year, and things were good. Mom and Dad were healthy, and my brother was having the time of his life in Tokyo, Japan.

3 YEARS AGO
Bandung, Indonesia. I had just graduated, and after 2 months of panic job searching, I found a job as a webmaster with mediocre pay (it was a good salary to start on, anyway). I had to build and manage their website from scratch; which involved taking a lot of pictures of shoes. The campus offered me a position to teach and work at the research lab; I eventually declined, because I wanted to explore my other capabilities first. Too soon to settle in. My girlfriend was spending a lot of time in Jakarta, so I spent a lot of time with my best friend Sacha, whose boyfriend was already working in Jakarta. Life was good.

LAST YEAR
Jakarta, Indonesia. I have been working in Jakarta for a year, and with the same internet media company. I witnessed its triumph and eventual death, having to close it down. I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years, and I had to look for a new job (not to mention a new girlfriend). I got a new job in a music company, and began building my life back together again, with new perspectives, piece by piece. Hard questions were asked, and hard answers with more questions came. Life was…difficult.

THIS YEAR
Jakarta, Indonesia. The job becomes exceedingly more difficult, due to corporate politicking and sidestepping; I make corporate enemies here and there. I am finally a permanent employee here, the pay is adequate, and I still manage to do some other stuff on the side. Career-wise, this year is pretty good; too bad I can’t say the same for my personal matters. After a few painful mistakes here and there, I met the person who could possibly be the love of my life; but things don’t work out… I’ll try to move on. My brother is still living in Tokyo, but is investing to buy a house in Jakarta, which the family can use. I want to buy a car but I still do not have enough money. Life is exceedingly difficult.

NEXT YEAR
Jakarta, Indonesia. Hopefully the growing pains of my division and the industry in general have subsided, and revenues grow; more business deals come. I finally have an assistant to help me, and the corporate enemies become friends again. I have resolved most of my personal issues, well, at least, learned how to work on them, and have finally found someone to help me through it. I still don’t have a car, but getting around Jakarta is easier with the new transport systems built. I have moved into a house I have rented together with a couple of other friends. Life is finally better.

10 YEARS FROM NOW
Jakarta, Indonesia. I am teaching my son how to use some computer software, but he is more interested in playing with Virtual Lego. My wife is spooning some sort of food to my baby daughter; my Dad is out in the garden as usual, and Mom is reading a book I just bought for her. We are visiting for the weekend their house in Cinere, as we already have our own place in BSD. I finally have a car, one of those big family cars; the other car, an antique Toyota, stays at home and only is used occasionally when I’m not up to my ears trying to fix or modify it. My wife takes a call from the office, grunts, and turns off her videophone. I have instructed my employees to never bother me on weekends, so they don’t. The content business is a holiday-less industry, but I let the young and more capable take care of the day-to-day operations. Both me and my wife have to work to make ends meet, but we manage.

so… I’m not tagging anyone in particular… but dear readers, who dares do this too? Cheers.

HP Seperti Baru

hari ini aku seperti mendapat hp baru, dan mendapat energi baru yang biasanya menyertai mendapatkan barang baru, untuk melakukan segala rupa macam kegiatan yang mungkin dilakukan dengan barang itu. aku jadi cari-cari program lagi (dan merasa menyesal tidak mencari-cari program-program untuk p900 sebelumnya), dan aku menikmati saat-saat mengubah-ubah pengaturan-pengatura n yang ada di hp ini. hanya dengan ongkos lima puluh ribu rupiah, aku seperti mendapat penyegaran baru (yang biasanya buat orang harus dilakukan dengan liburan ke bali atau membeli makanan seperahu).
aku orang baru yang mempunyai hp baru.
mungkin diriku tidak baru, tapi aku memiliki sudut pandang baru, seperti hpku yang memiliki perangkat lunak baru. mari kita coba melakukan sesuatu seperti ini di hal-hal sekitarku yang lain… mungkin akan lebih bermakna lagi.

Well, I Have Been Kinda Busy

Lately I have not been updating this blog as frequently as I have… because I’ve been very busy, and I’d have to admit that my spare time energies have been spent elsewhere on the Net… if you know what I mean.
Also… because of the inability to access the internet at home, I have not been able to make the much more, erm, generous posts I used to make, as my time at the office is usually limited, either in-between meetings in front of the computer, when I have to do actual work, and afterhours which are usually managed as quickly as possible. The faster, the sooner I can go home.
Well, anyway…
All I can say, that I am learning slowly… learning to take it all better… and be patient! Happiness comes hand in hand with pain… so, let’s try to live with it, and try to be grateful of the happiness, and learn from the pain. Learning to say “I want…”, “No”, and “I can” with a smile are the hardest things I have to learn to do (especially the smile).
Let’s start practice, then…
One note, to self: be happy.

Tunggu Dulu!

setelah melewati beberapa hari yang sepertinya hanya berlalu di dunia nyata, dan bukan di kepala, aku terlibat dalam pembicaraan menarik, dengan wanita cantik berambut pendek dan tidak suka kulit ayam.
setelah seharian kirim-kirim email dan rapat yang cukup produktif, aku mampir di mal ambasador untuk perbaikan hpku yang p900 (dan sekarang aku terpaksa memakai hp pinjaman) dan ke layanan pelanggan starone. setelah itu, aku janji bertemu sahabatku sacha di pasaraya… kita berbicara banyak hal, dari yang keseharian sampai hal-hal mendalam. akhirnya, hasil dari pembicaraan ini, adalah: aku tidak akan beli mobil dulu, nanti saja, bila memang sudah sangat perlu. sementara, aku akan membeli sesuatu yang sangat tidak perlu, untuk mengingatkanku untuk bersabar. ipod nano, mungkin?:D

Akhirnya

sudah dua hari internet di kantor mati, entah kenapa… namun beberapa rekan sudah bisa mengakses internet, tapi komputerku tetap tidak bisa… nah, barusan aku buka-buka lagi fasilitas untuk mengubah sifat koneksi…. eh, setelah utak-utik sebentar, bisa… hanya saja, program-program pesan instan seperti Yahoo! atau MSN tidak nyala… dan aku masih mencoba memperbaiki sendiri (karena petugas teknologi informasi di kantorku luar biasa lambat)…
sekarang aku masih di kantor, sedang menemani seorang teman yang masih bekerja… dan aku tidak begitu ingin pulang. ruangan kosku hari ini entah kenapa terasa kosong sekali.
tadi pagi ibuku menelepon, ketika aku masih setengah tidur, mengatakan bahwa penghuni rumah kita di Bandung tidak jadi memperpanjang, alhasil ayah ibuku tidak dapat membantu aku secara finansial mengenai rencana aku membeli sebuah mobil. sebenarnya aku tidak begitu ingin menggunakan uang dari ayah ibuku, tapi kenyataannya walaupun aku mungkin dapat membeli sebuah mobil yang amat sangat murah, aku belum tentu mempunyai uang untuk dana suku cadang apabila perlu. aku kini mulai membeli koran tiap hari untuk mencari harga yang masih masuk akal, dan dapat menyisakan uang cukup banyak untuk dana suku cadang. moga-moga aku bisa menemukan mobil yang tepat, dengan harga yang tepat. aku tahu pasti aku akan dapat mobil yang mungkin lebih tua dari aku, tapi tidak apa-apa, yang penting bisa digunakan secara praktis dan murah.

Aku Tidak Bisa Hidup Tanpa Internet

karena hari minggu tidak bersinggungan dengan fasilitas yang memiliki hubungan dengan jaringan internet, aku tidak dapat menulis apa-apa untuk hari minggu; dan hari ini, koneksi internet kantor pun mati; untungnya email masih bisa, sehingga paling tidak beberapa pekerjaanku dapat dilanjutkan. sisanya…
aku sekarang berada di kantor temanku untuk menulis pesan pendek ini…

[diah: tuh… aku udah memperbaiki judulnya…]

Terlipur Sementara

hari ini aku sakit kepala, karena perbutanku kemarin malam.
ada kawan mengadakan sebuah pesta perpisahan di bilangan Kemang, dan karena aku cukup dekat dengannya, aku pun turut serta. tapi itu nanti.
aku melewatkan makan malam yang cukup menyenangkan dengan seoranga wanita cantik, yang memiliki nafsu makan yang membuat gemas. aku diajak makan sesuatu yang cukup unik: satu scoop es krim bersama sebuah kue coklat yang mencengangkan; karena didalamnya terdapat cairan coklat yang cair dan hangat. rasanya luar biasa enak! aku rekomendasikan pada rekan-rekan.
lantas dari situ, aku menuju Kemang… dan mulailah kekhilafanku. sepertiga botol tequila tak terasa aku yang minum semua, dan malam berlanjut dengan agak tidak jelas…
namun cairan tersebut menjadi pelipur semu atas kesakitanku. semu, karena pagi ini teringat lagi, ditambah dengan sakit kepala yang luar biasa.
aku ingin lupa, tapi aku selalu ingat.

Crappy Internet Cafe

I have ben deprived of my home internet connection for more than a month now, so I am now forced to deal with crappy hardware in a crappy internet cafe. I had wanted to make a longer post.. but this keyboard is pissing me off.
Later.

Cerita Kecil Pusat Kota

setelah membeli dua tiket, aku dan Lusi memasuki halte bis menuju landasan untuk menaiki bis transjakarta. Aku membawa tas punggung yang agak besar, supaya dapat membawa dvd playernya Lusi, dan Lusi membawa tas kecil seperti umumnya wanita di kota ini, berisi dompet, hp, beberapa peralatan kecantikan, dan entah apa lagi.
rupanya bis agak penuh hari itu, jadi kita tidak dapat tempat duduk. aku pun menarik Lusi, dan kita berjalan menuju belakang bis, di mana kita akan dapat lebih leluasa berdiri. bis pun mulai berjalan lagi, dengan sedikit tersendat, karena jalan agak tidak rata. kami tanpa sadar berpegangan pada tiang yang sama, dan tangan kami bersentuhan. benar-benar karena setengah kaget mata kita akhirnya saling berpandangan. walau hanya sedetik, seperti seumur hidup, dan seolah-olah banyak hal yang tidak mungkin tersampaikan dalam sekejap, saling tersampaikan. tangan kita pun bergerak mendekat, hingga berpegangan, dengan tiang bis menjadi saksi. di saat itu aku tahu, aku sayang dia, dan dia sayang aku juga.