Archive | December 2005

A Moment Before Midnight

I don’t really if this is the norm or not with me, but the festive mood that usually circles the new year had no affect at all to me. Until December 30th I had no idea what to ‘do’ for the new year, when everybody else were making plans of this and that, confirming this engagement or that party, or asking everybody else what they were going to do. I have been greeted with the “what are you doing for the new year?” question countless times, yet I have always anwered with an “I don’t really know” or a “Not really thinking about it”.
After a good workout session this morning, and bowling with Macfreak, I went home at around 8 PM, when the streets are still empty, with a magazine and some snacks to just lie low at home, probably watch a DVD, and unwind the starting-to-ache body.
So before the new year arrives, I want to just write something down here…
One dear to me said, on new year’s eve, pray for something specific and special, so God knows what you want… I sure will be doing that.
People usually make new year’s resolutions… so mine is, simply: lose weight. And feel better about myself! As these two are pretty high par, I think I’ll stick to these two.
This post also the second new year it is seeing, a sort of a milestone… it also marks a year (plus a few days) of the tsunami disaster, to keep things in perspective.

I really wanted to spend the new year, any new year for that matter, with someone special, someone significant…. perhaps the new year by myself isn’t so bad either.

Senyum Beriring

apakah saat dan kejadian yang telah kutunggu-tunggu telah terjadi?
apakah sedang terjadi saat ini?

She Has No Time

You think your days are uneventful
And no one ever thinks about you
She goes her own way
She goes her own way
You think your days are ordinary
And no one ever thinks about you
But we’re all the same
And she can hardly breathe without you

She says she has no time
For you now
She says she has no time

Think about the lonely people
Then think about the day she found you
Or lie to yourself
And see it all dissolve around you

She says she has no time
For you now
She says she has no time
For you now
She says she has no time

Lonely people tumble downwards
My heart opens up to you
When she says

She says she has no time
For you now
She says she has no time
For you now
She says she has no time


The Culling

Last Friday, it was a fateful day for some of us at the office.
Due to a call for cost cutting and downsizing, the office finally notified the people who were affected by this policy; after a general announcement of the policy two weeks before. I must say, the atmosphere at the office during those two weeks running up to last Friday were very strange; the office was in kind of an ugly mood, working but not working, and definitely not in tune with the season’s festivities.
An thus the day came, and one of our number, the so-called “lunch gang”, has to leave…

So in line with Yosi’s birthday, we winded the night down with laughter and prohibitive drinks (none for me, thanks, I’m driving)…

I guess it’s part of corporate life… so, might as well get on with it…

I Hate Eating Alone

The one thing that I have never gotten used to in single life is eating alone. I really hate it, even though it’s happened more often than not.

Your Latest Trick

All the late night bargains have been struck
Between the satin beaus and their belles
And prehistoric garbage trucks
Have the city to themselves
Echoes roars dinosaurs
They're all doing the monster mash
And most of the taxis and the whores
Are only taking calls for cash

I don't know how it happened
It all took place so quick
But all I can do is hand it to you
And your latest trick

My door was standing open
Security was laid back and lax
But it was only my heart got broken
You must have had a pass key made out of wax
You played robbery with insolence
And I played the blues in twelve bars down Lover's Lane
And you never did have the intelligence to use
The twelve keys hanging off my chain

I don't know how it happened
It all took place so quick
But all I can do is hand it to you
And your latest trick

Now it's past last call for alcohol
Past recall has been here and gone
The landlord finally paid us all
The satin jazzmen have put away their horns
And we're standing outside of this wonderland
Looking so bereaved and so bereft
Like a Bowery bum when he finally understands
The bottle's empty and there's nothing left

I don't know how it happened
It was faster than the eye could flick
But now all I can do is hand it to you
And your latest trick

[sung by Dire Straits]


Do you know the feeling when you wake up and already you feel tired? Your body seems not fully rested, your eyes are weary, and you have moderate pains all over your body. I was always an early riser, but it seems lately that my habits (and my activities) have made me settle on a later sleeping time… thus, less sleep.
The morning exercises help; they jump-start my body into action, and also make it warm… my room can be quite chilly in the mornings due to the faulty air conditioner. The damn thing can’t make up it’s mind; it sometimes spouts hot air, and cold air the next, so I keep it on a colder setting than usual to be safe. Anyway, it always makes me wake up at about 4 in the morning just to turn off the aircon (I have utilized the timer function now… and they say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks).
Morning exercises also wash out the bad feelings or bad memories left over from dreams or thoughts before sleep…

After All This Time…

I don’t know, I may be overreacting, but –

All this time… your warmth, your splendor
Your friendly smile, your caring words
The gentle words of comfort and support, although sometimes naive and stubborn
The glow of your soul that warms and excites us all…
You’re just so too good to be true –

you must be a lie.


aku pagi ini senyum dalam kepahitan, karena kepahitan mengiringi kemurunganku yang semu;…. atau kebahagiaan yang semu? kesakitanku demikian membuat aku hanya bisa tersenyum, karena pelampiasan lain sudah tak sanggup kulakukan lagi.

jangan lagi, jangan lagi

aku relakan saja

December Is Running Out Of Gray Days

You know, I really should change the lighting or something in my room.
On many mornings, since the sunlight never reaches my room directly, everything is always so gray, especially on those cold, overcast mornings. A lot of people associate gray to a somewhat depressing colour, so imagine waking up with that nuance in your head!
Either I have to program one of the lamps to turn on in the morning (which, notably, all of my lamps have yellow bulbs), or I need to repaint one of the walls. Well, since this is a rented room, I can’t paint the walls; so perhaps all I need are some really huge posters with a lot of colour.
On the other hand, I still wake up in the morning feeling like I’m in love, though with less anticipation for the day, as I really just want the year to end quickly.

Well, I kind of have my hopes up for 2006, to really start up a new slate. Wish me luck guys, as I will to you.