One Way To Nowhere In Particular

So, Jl. Pangeran Antasari, one of the busiest roads in South Jakarta, is going to be made a one-way street. Problem is, the Jakarta city administration hasn’t figured out which way.Really increases my level of confidence in their planning capabilities…

Pasrah… [Macetnya Nggak Abis-abis]

Citizens Against Noisy And Useless Police Escorts

Today, I’d like to propose something: let’s make some sort of online petition, or Facebook page/group, or something, for Citizens Against Noisy And Useless Police Escorts. Well, the term ‘police escorts’ might technically be incorrect, but you get my drift.Every day, whether in traffic jams or not, we meet a small entourage of vehicles – the smallest being one expensive sedan like a Camry or Mercedes-Benz, escorted by an all-black Nissan X-Trail with police lights on top and four mean-looking guys inside – trying to get you off the road with their sirens so they can pass. Even when the roads are obviously jammed, the security vehicle still makes unending noises with the siren, and flashing all sorts of lights on the vehicles in front.It gets so annoying that one time I almost didn’t give way to an ambulance, a vehicle we really, really should give way to.  Yet, these escort vehicles keep doing it, trying to get whoever they’re escorting just a few minutes faster to wherever the destination is. Just yesterday I saw a 3-car entourage with a police car in front and the black X-Trail at the back, doing its noise and light thing, trying to get through Sudirman traffic – the drivers in front of the entourage wouldn’t have been able to give way even if they wanted to, since the 2-lane road had already been overtaken by 3 lanes of traffic.So, save us some irritation and use the energy to try to solve the actual traffic problem, eh boys?

Another Traffic Story

This morning, in the usual traffic jam in Kemang, I almost hit a motorcycle when moving forward as the motorcyclist simply cut me off and went on his way. As a good Jakartan I gave several honks of protest, but apparently the motorcyclist was annoyed by the noise.He opened his visor, turned back and said something – I couldn’t hear what he was saying as I was in the car, the windows were all up and the stereo was on. But of course, that didn’t stop him from his string of what I assume were expletives, accompanied with various rude hand gestures, which went on until he was far from my car. A friend once told me if I ever was in a minor traffic accident – fender bender, small dent and so on – we should always try to get the upper hand in acting angry, whoever was at fault. So even though the motorcyclist was at fault, he’ll never admit he’s wrong.And that, is a typical day in Jakarta…

The World’s Biggest Parking Lot

Activists have pointed out, yet again, that from mismanagement of traffic and public transport, Jakarta will be in a total gridlock by 2014. This would be caused by a mix of new vehicle sales, bad traffic management and chaotic public transport services. Thus, creating the world’s biggest parking lot, bar none (except if the world really does end in 2012 like the Mayans say).Somebody needs to do something about this. For all the buzz in the news, the MRT project will remain for me a figment of the imagination until I see it running before my eyes, as I have been traumatized by the failure of the monorail project. The only way that Jakarta can get its citizens to abandon daily use of private vehicles is to have the vision of creating a public transport network that is efficient, far-reaching (right into the congested suburbs and satellite towns), secure (from pickpockets, at least), safe and reliable. None of the above can be said about any mode of public transport right now. Proof? From various areas in Jakarta, it actually takes longer to travel from one point to another by public transport than it does with a private vehicle. Considering Jakartan’s obsession with speed, no wonder they prefer their souped-up motorcycles.

Easy – They Were Bred

In Bogor, not only the people work in shifts at some factories, the public transport minivans will too. Bogor has notoriously been a spectacle for traffic jams, for these green or blue minivans are practically everywhere, on any road and probably stopping to wait for passengers. To add to that, these minivans seem to forget that there are other cars using the road, because they stop anywhere – even the middle of the road – to get or disembark passengers. There’s even some sections of the town that are somehow allocated for a full 12-hour traffic jam for these minivans to wait for their passengers, eating up to three lanes and leaving only one lane passable for other cars.A Bogor official was quoted “It won’t be minivans waiting for passengers anymore, but the other way around”. Makes you think – how did Bogor get so many minivans in the first place, for such a small town?

Happy Traffic-Jammed Valentine’s Day

Seeing that coincidentally Valentine’s Day this year fell on a Saturday, various venues and companies created Valentine events to attract people to come and ‘celebrate’ Valentine’s at their place or event (even I am guilty of coming to one of the numerous Valentine events held yesterday). Which is all fine and lovely, except to certain people who think Valentine’s Day is either not in line with Indonesian culture or with their religion, as Valentine’s is either a Western capitalist apparatus or a Christian celebration. But I think those arguments are beyond this website… so anyway.What do you get when you hold sooo many events in one day, on a Saturday night? This.So hope you enjoyed your Valentine’s Day in your cars :DSo Jakarta, happy Valentine’s Day, we only bitch so much because we love you!

Rise And Shine… Before The Sun Comes Up

Finally ‘experts’, whoever they are, are saying the new school hours are not effective in decreasing traffic congestion. Well, you don’t really need to be an expert to judge that, seeing as that only 1 week after the new rule, traffic was as bad as always (perhaps worse).Some supposedly important guy from the Secondary and Higher Education Agency says children need to adapt. The morning air is fresh, so that the students can concentrate better, thus increasing the quality of education. This guy must be really old to forget how hard it is to think in the morning in a 7 am class to understand derivatives and logarithms, let alone 6.30.So now the kids have to get up at 4 am to go to school, and have to go to bed by 8 pm for enough sleep. Meanwhile, the parents leave home at 7 am, and reach home at 8 pm. So, goodbye, quality time with family, at least my kids can breath fresh air and concentrate better in the morning, and there are less traffic jams. Oh… none of that actually happened?Even the non-obligatory new office hours don’t do anything to help. Let’s see what other bright ideas will come along later…

Obviously Not

Truk Pecah Ban, Tol Dalam Kota TersendatThis is only one instance of traffic accidents related to buses or trucks, at any given week. You’d think heavy-use high-performance vehicles would have better maintenance, right?

tentang PK PK ditengah kemacetan…

(Originally posted by City Gal on Nov 17, 2005)Hm…

It is against my policy to blog in working hours… but I couldn’t help myself.  Dari tadi ngintip ke jendela, dan laporan pandangan mata nih… Rabu, 17 November 2005 pukul 13.17 jalan Kapten Tendean tampak lancar dan cenderung kosong.  Tunggu aja berapa jam lagi… pasti bentuknya udah gak keruan.  Ih.Saya jadi inget jaman kerja di sebuah radio di ruas jalan utama MH Thamrin tahun 2001.  Sebagai produser morning show, saya tak pernah bermasalah dengan kemacetan pagi karena siaran dimulai tepat pukul 06.00 pagi.  Diatas kertas sih, saya bebas tugas jam 4 sore… tapi kenyataannya pulang jam 10 malem juga kayak biasa.  Lagi-lagi gak bermasalah karena emang udah gak macet.  Tapi pada suatu hari saya dengan isengnya nekat pulang jam 4 sore.  Pengen tau aja rasanya pulang kantor dengan matahari masih terang…Suasana antara gedung Sarinah Thamrin sampai Bunderan HI memang sangat lancar.  Tapi lepas jembatan Dukuh Atas… OMIGOD!  Yang namanya mobil udah ngantri sengantri-ngantrinya!  PENUH BANGET!  Penasaran, saya melirik jam dan ternyata bener kok masih jam 4.15.  Sialan.  Mau telepon-teleponan sama temen… takut pulsa habis (secara waktu itu belom mampu langganan pasca bayar yaaa… yuuukkk..).  Mau denger radio… halaaahh… secara kerja di radio juga gitulooohh… BOSEN.  Mau nyalain tape… basi.  Akhirnya saya memutuskan untuk bengong, sambil memandang keadaan sekitar yang emang bikin stress.Keadaan bikin stress ini tidak membuat saya sakit kepala… tapi perut tiba-tiba terasa cenat cenut menandakan kontraksi ringan.  Oh no.  Tanda-tanda alam memanggilkah?  Saya masih cuek, berdoa dalam hati supaya alam tidak memanggil ditengah kemacetan gila ini.Lima belas menit berlalu, saya baru sampai didepan gedung Arthaloka.  Terjadi lagi kontraksi sialan yang waktu itu diagnosisnya adalah gara-gara kebanyakan makan ayam goreng TEKUN (Tenda Kuning) waktu makan siang.  Saya mulai senewen.  Langsung diri ini melancarkan jurus PK PK dengan tololnya.  Apakah jurus PK PK itu?  Maap yak… PK PK adalah Pantat Kepala Pantat Kepala.  Jadi kalo sakit perut ingin pupi dan ga bisa karena ga ada tempat, pindahkan sakit perut kamu ke kepala dengan cara menepuk pantat lalu menepuk jidat sambil menggumamkan mantra keramat “Pantat Kepala… Pantat Kepala…”  gituh.  Kata orang yang ngajarin saya sih niscaya hal ini dapat menghindarkan kamu dari malu karena cepirit…Duapuluh menit berlalu dan saya tiba di depan gedung Dharmala yang keren itu…  Jurus PK PK tampak lumayan berhasil  tapi mendadak kontraksi terjadi lagi dan kali ini hebat sekali sampai merinding dan keringat dingin. Didepan saya ada tiga truk semen berendengan di satu jalur, disamping kiri ada satu mercedes yang supirnya belagu banget ogah disalip dan di jalur yang paling kiri sana ada suzuki charade tua yang rada kembang kempis.  Hayaaahhh sementara saya berada di jalur paling kanan.  Mau minggir juga nampak sulit karena udah di kiri pun tetap harus masuk jalur lambat dulu lalu nyari gedung yang cukup representatif untuk mengakomodasi panggilan alam yang datang disaat kurang tepat ini!Akhirnya mercedes belagu dapat saya lalui dengan mental metromini walau supir mercedes itu ternyata jago bahasa Inggris (doi buka kaca nek… sambil teriak “F*CK YOU!!”).  Charade butut ya terpaksa mesti ngalah karena emang gak mampu juga ngeduluin saya…  dan sampailah saya di jalur lambat dengan kondisi kontraksi perut makin menggila.  Lewat Central Plaza… masuknya ngantri (ada apa pula sih dengan gedung itu?  Gak penting deh).  Lewat Atma Jaya… hayah… *mendadak terbayang WC kampus tercinta yang enggak banget*.  Dulu belom ada Plaza Semanggi cong… bentuknya masih Graha Purna Yudha yang kelihatannya berhantu itu.  Akhirnya saya memutuskan untuk bandel dan masuk lagi ke jalur cepat sambil tetap ber-PK PK.Lepas Semanggi, masuklah saya ke jalur lambat lagi dan mencari gedung yang tempat parkirnya gak ribet.  Akhirnya pilihan panik jatuh pada S.Widjojo Center.  Lumayan lah tempatnya dan langsung parkir di belakang secara menyenangkan ga perlu nyari parkir susah-susah.  Masuk kedalam dengan setengah berlari… menahan hasrat memenuhi panggilan alaaaamm… terus sok-sok masuk ke perpustakaannya British Council.  Sungguh sempurna rencana ini karena didalem perpus itu banyak anak seumuran saya yang dandanannya gak jauh beda lah… funky-funky keren gitu.  Sok-sok mau ngambil brosur… padahal udah kebelet bukan main.  Akhirnya nanya sama si mbak yang nunggu:”Mbak, restroomnya dimana ya?””Oh, itu ke kanan nanti lurus pintu pertama di kiri ya””Makasih”Sok jalan tenang keluar dari perpus terus SPRINT ke WC yang ditunjukkan.  Pas banget begitu masuk kok ya KOSONG MELOMPONG!!!Dengan bahagianya saya melepas hasrat.Ketika upacara selesai, refleks saya mencari selang pembersih… dan TIDAK ADAAAA!!! HAYAAAHHHH!!!! Pake tissue?  Neng, walaupun kalo ngomong suka keminggris dan kebarat-baratan, soal yang satu ini mah saya Indonesia banget… gak bisa kalo gak ada aeeerrr!!!Lagi bingung-bingung gitu, tiba-tiba pandangan saya tertumbuk pada tiga botol berisi air yang berderet di lantai sebelah kanan.  Mungkin ini gunanya untuk…Akhirnya I utilized them.  Thank God.Dan baru-baru ini saya baru dikasi tau sama temen saya yang kerja disana… bahwa benar botol2 tersebut memang untuk bebersih… tapi mannernya adalah kalo abis pakai mohon diisi kembali demi kepentingan dan kenyamanan bersama.  Saya cuma bisa senyum-senyum penuh rasa bersalah.Believe me guys, stuck ditengah traffic Jakarta bukanlah hal yang paling buruk di dunia.  Hal yang paling buruk di dunia adalah stuck ditengah traffic Jakarta dengan kondisi ingin pupi setengah mati.  Apakah pemerintah peduli sama keadaan ini?  Bukannya bikin WC umum yang bersih dan nyaman… dia malah asik asik bikin busway…PLIS DEH!