Archive | May 2008

The Main Hub Of International Transport… But Not Local

These points are ironically funny about Jakarta’s own Soekarno-Hatta International Airport:

  • there’s no way to get to it other than by road. No high-speed train access, nothing. Except if you fly in from other cities…
  • there’s only 2 ways to get in by road: through the freeway and through a back entrance, and they are very far from each other. So if one passage is blocked you have to take a 2-hour detour to get to the other.
  • the main freeway passes a a long swath of swamp. Yes, a swamp. Only recent flooding and global warming has caused the government to think about fixing or rising the road.
  • The bus service to and from the airport is irregular at best. What’s the point of riding the bus if you don’t know the schedule?
  • City check-in counters don’t get you squat if the roads are jammed all the way to the airport… which they most often are.
  • You’re in for the time of your life waiting for checked baggage. I don’t know why, every one tends to try to get the best position at the baggage conveyor belt, as though as they want to get the first bag out.
  • Fast food is bas as it is at any given mall, and at the airport it’s even worse at almost double the price.
  • For a place where people do a lot of waiting, there’s not an awful lot of seats. And the seats that are available, have nests of cockroaches inside.
  • For an international gateway to Indonesia, the lighting is like a beat-up off the track shopping centre. Lot’s of lights but bad illumination. But bright enough so you can see the cracks in the cement.
  • You can choose from a multitude of taxi brands, official or non-official, but you never know which one will rip you off or take you on the scenic route.

Rising Price Of Life

There are a lot of arguments going on about the recently-raised price of gas.

One is, the global price of crude oil itself has risen, and as a processed-oil exporter (not importer), the price just went up for us as well. So if we want to remove a lot of pain from the country’s budget, the subsidies for gas must be partly lifted. So now we feel the pain.

The other is, raising the price of gas is not the problem in itself, but it is the perceived psychological impact on everything else – rising prices of everything, the less-to-dos doing worse because of it, and so on. The working wisdom is that if gas prices go up, everything else goes up, in a time where everyone wants everything cheap or free. An article indicated that the price of gas in Indonesia went up 37 times in the past 42 years. Yeah well… a lot happens in 42 years… not to mention that gas prices at other countries go up or down regularly, like any other commodity.

I agree that raising gas prices is a drastic measure for a country like ours, but it does not mean that we have to go off and burn tyres and make a general mess of things. Civil disobedience can only get you so far, and crosses lines to anarchy very easily. Why do the thousands of people protesting do not offer an alternative solution? If asked this they expect that the government should be the smarter one to figure things out. Well, aren’t they?

The new gas price hurts me and hurts us all but I do not find fault with it – the biggest mistake of the government is lack of foresight. Public transport is still a mess, there are no local developments whatsoever on alternative energy sources (despite all the noise about ‘blue energy’ in the press) and electric or hybrid cars – although very logical for Jakarta and other cities – aren’t even sold anywhere. Well you do hear ads here and there yet people still love their gas-guzzling cars and motorcycles and wouldn’t make a bold first step to an alternative.

We are all spoilt and corrupt, and it is time to change it; we can’t expect the government to change things for us. Stop protesting and start changing.

[Don’t Listen To This]

Kenapa sih?Mungkin karena sudah terlampau sering dan terbiasa mendengar bisingnya klakson, knalpot, suara orang berantem, suara orang ngomong di HP kenceng-kenceng, suara ringtone HP kenceng dan ganggu, suara musik kenceng dari kios-kios penjual CD dan DVD bajakan, teriakan kenek dan penjual minum, pengamen, pengumuman car call, suara proyek bangunan… orang Jakarta jadi tidak bisa menyimak.Simply put: people can hear but they can’t listen anymore.

BBM adalah…

Benar-benar MemusingkanBeha Bermotif MacanBilang-bilang ke MamaBongkar-bongkar MajalahBosan Berujung MengantukBeruang Buka MaduBlack Berry Menyebalkan …. memang iya!Bedak Berlapis MenawanBibir Berlipstik MerahBanting Bedil MainanBeringasan Bila MenyetirBandot Berbibir MonyongBimbang Berakibat MenyesalBinal, Buas, MenghanyutkanBapak Berbuat MemalukanBincang-bincang MalamBesok Bawa MakananBerbicara Bebas Makna … seperti blog ini mungkinBerburu ‘Binatang’ MalamBunyi Bergelegar Meminta …. makanBotol Berisi MautBakal Bikin MiskinBerpesiar ke Bali, Mari! (pengen)Bakso Bulat MengenyangkanBaca Blog Malu-maluin….

Mungkin Sedang Ada Semacam Lomba?

Kenapa sih?Jumat dan Sabtu malem suka ada sekelompok pengendara motor berkeliaran, rata-rata 10 motor dengan rata-rata jumlah penumpang 2-3 orang, ngebut, nggak pake helm (sepertinya pici putih yang dipakai sudah cukup melindungi), berselempangkan sarung, dengan bawa bendera besar?

Jakarta, The City Of The Pointless

Hey, I may be wrong, but what does doing anything of the below accomplish anything?

  • burning tyres
  • blocking up the roads and jamming up traffic
  • spray-painting random government-owned vehicles
  • spray-painting public facilities
  • stone throwing (any direction)
  • verbal harrasment
  • and so on… there are so many ways to enact anarchy

Maybe this is what they should do (‘they’ purposely vague in this sense):

  • instead of burning tyres, maybe burn fat?
  • instead of blocking roads, maybe block floods?
  • instead of spray-painting vehicles, maybe spray-paint your own and create a beauty contest?
  • instead of spray-painting public facilities, maybe spray-paint your own toilet? Those stains won’t remove themselves, why not just paint over them…
  • instead of throwing stones, why not throw… a party?
  • instead of verbal harassment, why not verbal poetry?
  • and instead of anarchy, why not stop being pointless and use your head? Yes, that thing inside the head too, called the brain – learn to use it.

Level 42’s Timeless Song

Odd Jakarta Fact #492:The announcement of a theatre opening before a movie at MPX Grande, Pasaraya, uses a large 2×3 screen stating ‘The movie blah blah blah is about to begin in Studio 1’, accompanied by the intro of Level 42’s “Love Games”. I think it’s been like that since the song was actually a hit.

ambil foto harus minta ijin!

(Originally posted Nov 16, 2005)
location: Plaza Semanggi, parking lot, lt. 9. 10 PM, cool night… nggak macet tuh.
I headed up there with a friend to check out the spectacular view of Semanggi, and the surrounding cityscape. Udah agak malem, and the parking lot was empty anyway, cuma ada beberapa mobil gitu.Temen gue bawa tustel, dan mulai foto-foto the spectacular views….lagi asik-asik foto-foto dan liat-liat…. mr security dropped by:”dari mana mas””mmm… dari bawah tadi” ujarku. that is the strangest question to ask of a stranger.”bukan, dari mana, ada surat keterangan nggak?””emang kenapa?”sementara temen gue udah ngambil 3 snapshot.”kalau mau ngambil foto di sini harus minta ijin, lantai 6″ambil foto harus minta ijin? This doesn’t look like an art gallery. Isinya mobil-mobil, taneman pot, kabel-kabel listrik dan a few satellite dishes. Malem persis sebelumnya, gue foto-foto juga di situ dengan aman dan bebas raya. apa sih?temen gue setelah lewat initial shock, langsung nunjukin:”nih mas ya. ini kamera digital. nih, tadi foto yang saya ambil. nih, saya hapus. nih, ada lagi. saya hapus ya. ini yang terakhir. saya hapus juga. udah kan mas?””ya bener, udah”bapak satpam tidak bergerak. pengen ikutan nimbrung kayaknya. di rumah ga ada yang ngajak ngobrol. duh, pergi kek.temen gue sewot: “berdiri di sini boleh nggak?””ya boleh, tapi kan kita susah ngawasi… takut KESAMBET”we were standing on the top of 9 stories. tapi kesambet susah kali ya.. wong temboknya 1,5 meteran lah, belom besi-besian yg lain. kesamber apa? struck by the cupid? OOOOO dikirain kita mau berbuat kali. well sir… you wanna stay and watch if we do anything funny?gue langsung “PULANG YUK!”ramah sekali orang-orang jakarta ya, dengan peraturan2 yang sungguh memperhatikan kepentingan umum. PLIS DEH!

Mungkin Sedang Ada Eksperimen Memadukan Hewan?

(Pembicaraan nyata di food court sebuah mall Jakarta Selatan)Calon pembeli: crepesnya ada rasa apa aja ya, yang panas?penjaga: ada yang beef, chicken dan cheese.Calon pembeli: itu beef-nya ayam?

dicari: copywriter lowongan kerja

(Originally posted by City Gal on Jan 8, 2006)Pagi-pagi, hari Minggu… baru bangun tidur, minum teh anget dan melaksanakan ritual wajib kaum pekerja Jakarta……nyari lowongan kerja.It’s true that most Jakartans are soooooo hard to please. Belom punya kerjaan, nyari lowongan strata manajer. Udah punya kerjaan, pengen nyari yang gajinya lebih gede. Udah punya yang gajinya gede, pengen nyari yang gajinya lebih gede -kalau bisa dibayar pake dolar.Tapi yang namanya habit ya nggak bisa diapa-apain sepertinya. Kayaknya udah refleks aja, Minggu adalah hari mencari lowongan nasional.Saya termasuk kaum diatas. Kaum pencari lowongan di Kompas Minggu. Well, Sabtu juga sih sebenernya. Tapi ada mitos di kalangan pencari lowongan ini, bahwa the best vacancies itu ngumpulnya di Kompas Minggu. Jadi buat saya, acara nyari-nyari lowongan ini selalu dirapel di Minggu pagi. Sungguh kegiatan yang menyenangkan sekali… apalagi kalau kelihatannya ada pekerjaan yang menarik.Bagi saya, ada tiga tipe iklan lowongan yang selalu bisa menarik perhatian. Mereka adalah…Tipe 1Iklan lowongan kerja yang mencerminkan perusahaan bonafit. Biasanya yang masang beginian nih contohnya Nokia, Adidas-Solomon, Siemens… pokoknya perusahaan yang namanya ‘bunyi’ di telinga. Dan iklan-iklan lowongan kerja bonafit ini biasanya nggak tanggung-tanggung. Setengah halaman koran, full-color dan ditulis dalam bahasa Inggris yang sungguh sempurna. Alamat perusahaan jelas banget, malah kadang offering salary juga ditulis dengan jelas. Good and great. Kadang baru ngebaca aja udah deg-degan… timbul rasa sedikit kurang pede tapi hasrat melamar (bila ada posisi yang cocok dengan kualifikasi) langsung meninggi.Tipe 2Iklan lowongan kerja yang memang mencari posisi yang saya incar, namun bersifat sedikit misterius. Misalnya: “An established Production House is seeking…” an established itu maksudnya sampe mana ya. Offering salary juga nggak dicantumkan. Buat yang beginian, biasanya memancing saya untuk menelepon rekan-rekan yang bekerja di bidang yang ditawarkan guna memancing kira-kira perusahaan mana yang sedang mencari pegawai. Dan… biasanya berhasil. Alamat perusahaan juga kadang cuma ada e-mailnya atau PO.BOX. Ini sih tergantung… kalau dari gosip-gosip beredar kedengaran menjanjikan, saya akan mencoba melamar… tapi kalau enggak… agak sedikit males.Tipe 3Iklan lowongan kerja yang ngga mungkin banget untuk dilamar -berhubung secara kualifikasi belum memenuhi-, tapi sungguh menggoda karena penawaran benefit, gaji bahkan job descriptionnya sungguh mendetail. Biasanya dicantumkan oleh badan-badan dunia kelas berat seperti UNICEF atau Kantor-kantor kedutaan besar asing… atau NGO yang lagi ngetrend saat ini. (Which often makes me wonder: katanya non-governmental organization yang non-profit… kok gajinya pada gede-gede banget ya?) Biasanya, kalau lihat kualifikasi untuk NGO, banyak sih yang bisa saya penuhi… tapi lokasi penempatannya pasti bikin orang tua saya mendelik. Jadi mendingan enggak deh.Dari tiga tipe lowongan di atas, ada satu tipe rahasia (mari kita sebut saja tipe rahasia 4) yang selalu jadi hiburan disaat ritual cari lowongan itu tiba.Tipe rahasia 4Iklan lowongan kerja dengan grammar yang salah. Yang beginian banyak banget juga… dan saya heran kok koran se-prominent Kompas mau nerima iklan kacau begini… hkahakhakhakhak… Behold our examples:An manufacturing companies group is looking for new employees with conditions:- Healthy- Not older than 25- Bachelor degree in Accounting, preferable overseas graduate- Honest- Excellent EnglishWho wouldn’t need somebody with excellent English for THAT company? WUAHAHAKHAKHAKHAKHAK!!!Ada lagi iklan lowongan yang masuk kategori ‘dia pikir orang bakal tertarik kali yeee…’ dan contohnya adalah sebagai berikut… (bear in mind that this is NOT fictional. This is real)Poor? Want Money? Get Rich?Work with us! Get incomes in dollar!Can get married after working 3 months!Shit. I was laughing so hard when I read that ad. It was really REALLY pathetic.Sebenernya banyak banget contoh-contoh gokil iklan lowongan kerja ancur beginian… but then, I figured… bentar ya… saya cari dulu koran-koran minggu lalu… and I’m gonna scan ’em for your eyes only! For the time being… let me just post this ad…

DicariCopywriter untuk iklan lowongan kerjaPersyaratanDapat berbahasa Indonesia dan Inggris dengan sempurnaTidak sok tahuTidak sok Inggris