Archive | March 2005

Lemony Snicket’s A Series Of Unfortunate Events

If nothing else does, the stunning stylistic visuals of this movie will blow you away. The story is certainly for kids, as it would seem a bit unmemorable for most adults, but the visual effects are a treat for either the parents accompaniying the kids or people like we, who were enticed by the visuals in the trailer anyway. I don’t know if I should say “Bravo!” or “Booorrriiiing!” to Jim Carrey’s performance as 3 characters in the movie, yet as I often do, I get myself into the mood of the movie and find his roleplay eccentricly and absurdly entertaining.
The story is about 3 kids with rich parents, who are suddenly orphaned; they are then handed over to the custody of Count Olaf (Jim Carrey) who is more interested in the inheritance and his own artistic ego rather than the children. And from there, let’s just say, everything goes downhill from there.
I watched it last night, and I remember that after the movie I was still enthralled by the imagery; but now, the day later, other than the imagery, the story is vaguely remembered. The characters themselves, on the other hand, are still recorded in my head, but not because we got to know them during the movie, but it was kind of force-fed at the beginning of the movie. Let’s just say, the moviemakers dreamed up so much for imagery that they didn’t leave much room for imagination from the moviegoer’s part.
Otherwise, the movie is a visualfest if it’s nothing else, and purely enjoyable if you remember just that. In other words, it’s a comic book. I’d love to read the books, although watching the movie first would of ruined the imagery that could of come forth.

A Taste Of Things To Come?

A great, refreshing weekend to start life anew on Monday.
On Friday, my parents dropped by my place, bearing food and more food, and I gave them my gifts from my Bangkok trip. I gave Mom one set of salt-and-pepper shakers in the form of cats, and another wood statue of a Siamese cat (if you haven’t caught the drift, my Mom loves cats). I gave my Dad a pair of genuine leather shoes, which apparently are of better quality in Thailand, rather than here at home.
Afterwards, after a long stretch of not seeing each other because of various responsibilities, I met up with Sacha at Carrefour, and later joined Vira and a couple of other of their office friends to watch the first episode of Indonesian Idol’s new season. We had a blast watching, and since they made the show, they were always talking about this and that detail, or how they didn’t like a certain part, and so on. The night went on with chilling at Barbados after an abortive visit to Second Floor. We walked the way from Second Floor to Barbados.. and I must say, I enjoyed the walk more than the bar.
Saturday, I went shopping! I brought Nelly along as my personal stylist, as apparently I have no hope whatsoever in picking something out for myself. I picked out 2 shirts, 3 t-shirts, and a vest (don’t ask me how much it cost me). Afterwards, Vira gathered a couple of us for dinner, and I finally was able to give her her Bangkok souvenirs (I had already given her her birthday present). Funny thing is, I gave her souvenirs from Alfa too, which Alfa asked me to give to her, and at that very occasion Alfa was there also. Ha. Later that night, I went out with Nelly and Sarah for a round of fried rice with mutton.
Sunday was slow day; the intention was I go over to Vira and Tanti’s place and fix Vira’s computer, as last time I tried to use it, it didn’t turn on, and I had not properly set up the harddisk I gave her. The computer turned out to be fine, and I easily set up the harddisk, so that left me joining a DVD marathon of The O.C. with them, and supper later at Lokananta. I went to EX with Tanti later, and picked out a nice jacket on a whim (man, am I turning into a shopping freak??) and then we hung out at Gloria Jeans chatting.

Now that I’ve written everything down… suddenly my weekend feels… expensive. Ha hahahaha!!!

Nobody In Particular (Or Almost Everybody?)

First of all, it’s the eyes. It’s always the eyes.
Eyes that just talk to you, eyes that emanate warmth, and make you feel like she’s listening to you with her eyes. Eyes that you can look into hours on end, eyes that are beautiful even when they’re closed. And of course, eyes that have a slight veil of mystery behind them, that makes you want to know more.
Then it’s always the hard-boiled stubborn attitude; never annoying, but persistently stubborn. Stubborn with a smile that can melt you away when you have objections, stubborn with a somehow no-compromise but easy-going attitude that makes it easy for you to just go along with her idea. And let her go through her own blunder, hahaha…
There’s always the passion for something that I can’t really identify or understand, yet knowing and recognizing the object of her interest always lights up my day, especially when I’m involved in one of her pursuits. I am always intrigued to find out more.
Of course, there’s the hours of talk, whether it be chatting via the internet or just somewhere nice, talking about nothing in particular. Sharing thoughts, sharing ideas, debating, compromising, giving lessons, talking from the heart, crying, laughing, tears, rain, hot air… even moments of silence just staring at something… sharing a song, and talking about that song, how it’s good or not good… or talking about some fantasy, make-believe predicament (I love this!), letting our minds wander into alternate realities…
Sharing a chocolate ice cream, or ordering different flavors of ice cream and sharing with each other…
Playing with cats… befriending the neighborhood cat or any friendly cat that shows up at somewhere we eat…
And if she believes in me, more than I believe in myself…
One important point: the way she touches me. In a friendly way, in a way that makes me think I am worthy of her touch, and that she doesn’t mind simple gestures as a pat on the back or holding by the arm, also as signs of affection.
And always, how she adores my consistently childish mannerisms, like always spilling my food or leaving my mouth unclean, even though I try my best not to.
How she listens to me by looking directly at me, whether or not she knows that I could stop talking if I look into her eyes from utter admiration, or perhaps shyness…

No, I’m not in love, not yet… not any time soon, I figure. But writing this down also helps me define myself.

Heavy Morning Thoughts

I think the ghost has stopped haunting me for the moment, as I can sleep better at night. No thoughts of despair or regret entering my mind or my heart, but… nothing else in particular either. Maybe it is time to find consolation in more work. More work takes more time, and keeps my mind off other things and other needs, and when it’s finally time to go home, I’ll be too tired to think of anything else.
Sounds like a typical metropolitan existence.
I find no comfort in that, as I can well see where the road leads…
Growing up is tough, isn’t it?
So… be grateful of the ones who love you, they’re all you’ve got. Job, house, car, and so on… it can all disappear with a sweep of tsunami wave, an earthquake, or bankruptcy…
Your job is important to you, but remember, you are important to other people…

Possible Betrayal?

Yesterday, I was drained to the last drop, and did not have the energy to write what I am attempting to write about now. Now, the worst part is probably over, but it seems that I can’t begin to write about it either.
I don’t think I can even begin to explain without telling a bit about the history, and I’m not inclined to do that, due to the transparent nature of this blog, or anyone else’s for that matter. And I don’t think I can tell about the details without breaking down in the middle of the story. Well, maybe not, but… I’d rather not elaborate, as usual.

A few weeks ago I posted about learning of some news that would have some profound effect on a lot of things. Well, the day has come… and… I’m a total wreck.

I’ll be blunt: due to circumstances more or less beyond my control, including the person in question, I have lost someone I care about very much. I have lost her to… to… inevitability. She hates me to the core, and I don’t blame her; but there was nothing I could do. I have run the situations brought to me a million times in my head, and there was nothing I could do.

Maybe my not doing anything was the thing I did wrong, as many inactions lead to chaos as actions do. I have been dreading this day for weeks; I have been running scenarios in my head a million times, what I should say, what I should do… but still, life always brings little (or big) suprises to the mix, catching us all off guard.

I can’t find any more words to say…

If you’re reading this… I’m sorry, and I miss you… just take care of yourself.


It’s always amazing how long a day takes when you’re waiting for the next day. Excruciatingly, frustratingly long. And it’s equally annoying how fast time goes by when there is so much to consider, to do, to act upon.
Patience is a virtue, but never a virtue of mine.
Somehow I feel I’m doing everything wrong, misplacing pride, effort, and perseverance. Pushing the wrong things the wrong way. On the other hand, I guess it does reflect what I need (as opposed to want) most. And frustratingly, I always screw it up.
I have to try to get myself to middle ground here, being the ungrateful person that I am. That which you do not have is always that which you want most. In hindsight, it was always one thing or the other, never ever perfect, never even satisfying. I guess that’s human, but psychotically human. Maybe I will never get over the need to make myself better, and perhaps for most people it’s a healthy thing. For me, it just degrades everything else.
For someone as unstable as me, I need a pillar to hold on to once in a while, someone that I will love and care with all my heart for ever and ever.
Now, I’ll just have to look… does the hard part come now, or later, I wonder?
Life is always hard, and the days are always long, but for every moment forward, remember to look in the rearview mirror and say thanks.

Cross My Fingers, Good Luck

Hopefully, it will work out. Hopefully.
I need this, need it as much as I need my sanity as it has always been a part of it.

Please. Please. Please.