Archive | May 2005

I’m Not Sure Why…

The past few weeks have been a mixture of happiness, anguish, work, sitting idly and everything else that may go into the mix; hence the infrequent updates. The situation has left me so confused at times, that even when I did have time to write, I did not know what to write about. If I write about pain, it would not be wholly true… if I write about happiness, it would not be wholly true…
The future lies in hope, patience, virtue and passion, and also a lot of faith. Faith that everything will turn out fine, in the ways they should be.

So, as with the moments where I am usually lost for words, I ask my favorite songs to speak the mood:

“You And I”

Here we are
On earth together
It’s you and I
God has made us fall in love
It’s true
I’ve really found
Someone like you
Will it stay
The love you feel for me
Will you say
That you will be by my side
To see me through
Until my life is through
Well in my mind
We can conquer the world
In love you and I
You and I, you and I…
I’m glad
At least in my life
I’ve found someone
That may not be here forever
To see me through
But I found strength in you
Cause in my mind
You will stay here always
In love you and I
You and I, you and I
You and I, you and I
You and I
In my mind
We can conquer the world
In love you and I
You and I, you and I
You and I…

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith

Purposedly watching this movie at Premiere, complete with plush reclining chairs, blankets, crisp projection system and superd audio system (with a high price to match) with Jacky and Yadi, I felt that the movie has had to be worth it. Giving a taste of the high life at a supposedly overpriced movie theatre was experimental at best.
But damn, it was worth it. Really. Before watching, I had already picked up blabber from the Net and a couple of friends that in some ways it was unsatisfying, but I remained unchanged, I have to watch; Star Wars is so much a part of my childhood and who I am today, more or less, so watching it was more of an obligation. From the beginning sequences, I was already touched; the opening music, and the unique text scrolling telling the story so far…. and that amazing battle sequence! I had a headache trying to keep up with the details of the battle scenes…
Story-wise, the movie certainly completes the arc from Episode 1, the Phantom Menace to Episode 6, Return Of The Jedi, and the implications, connections and even inconsistencies will be talked about by fans for years on ahead, and probably inspire a new wave of fan fiction (if not official stories from the franchise). The most special thing about the science-fiction genre is always how the filmakers (or authors) could describe entire different worlds, how a certain technology works, or simply dazzle us with futuristic landscapes, and this movie certainly pays off in that aspect. The space battles, the lightsaber fights, and everything else, are certainly for viewing (and viewing again).
The only downside of the movie was actually the dramatic part; at some points it felt a bit long-winded, and the actors’ so-called acting did not help much. Hayden Christensen may of wanted to come off as a cool, indifferent Anakin Skywalker easily swayed by emotions, but when you could see the life in Obi-wan Kenobi’s eyes (played by superb actor Ewan MacGregor), you could not see the rage, the fears and so on in Anakin’s eyes. It was always flat, just like a boy in a school play. I have not seen his acting anywhere else, but here, it just feels… wooden. Natalie Portman, who looked absolutely dazzling in Episode 2, looked, well, ugly. Perhaps for a purpose as well… but it took away part of what blew me away watching Episode 2. The dialogue in general needs some work if it wants to be ingrained into viewer’s memories, but nevertheless, the story and the magnificent SFX would be more memorable.
At the end of the day…. I want to watch it again! George Lucas, thanks for the effort, we all loved it… let’s see if you can manage to slip down screenplays for Episode 7,8 and 9 to future generations; but with its flaws, I think Episode 3 already tops it.


Like an angel out the sky you came
Clearing up all the clouds, the sadness and the rain
So pure and healing was the love you bring
I knew inside…(it felt so right)

For me I’ve struggled all my life
To find that thing that makes it right
With you it seems I may have found
Some other kind of love

I will love you all my life
Always be by your side
And I will give you all I have
‘Cause you gave me peace and joy…again, again again

I was scared to let go and trust your love
After what I’ve been through I had had enough
Whispering through your eyes you never said a word
But something said…(your heart’s safe)

For me I’ve struggled all my life
To find that thing that makes it right
With you it seems I may have found
Some other kind of love

I will love you all my life
Always be by your side
And I will give you all I have
‘Cause you gave me peace and joy…again, again again

A friend is what you’ll always have in me
I am so grateful for the man you turned out to be
And it doesn’t matter who you happen to meet
You’ll forever be…(a sacred part of me)

(as sung by Jennifer Lopez)

Hope Springs

I hope this is it.
I hope it’s the one.
I hope it will work out okay.
I hope everything will smoothen out properly.
I hope I can take the trials of the journey.
I hope I can sort out the problems properly, maybe not to solve, but to accept and compromise.
I hope the journey is taking me in the proper direction.
I hope it’s right.
I hope it’s the best for me.
I hope for it to last.
I hope it can make me happy.
I hope, that even if it makes me sad, I can get through it.
I hope the band will be playing my tune for once.
I hope I can be more optimistic.
I hope I can invest more trust in it.
I hope I can be strong enough.
I hope I’m doing it right.
I hope it can be strong enough for me.
I hope it will drown away my depressive traits, but if not, hopefully it can soothe it well.
I hope…

I hope for hope.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy

This movie is an adaptation from Douglas Adam’s acclaimed 5-book series of mixing science fiction and humor at its best, and being very British about it at the same time. The books of my childhood have finally come to life, in the first installation of hopefully movies following the subsequent sequels (well, the end of the movie hinted about it anyway).
I’m not sure if this movie will be box office, or even if it will even hit theaters in Indonesia (I watched it on DVD), but it is a definitely entertaining, if quaint movie. I’m not sure people may appreciate the movie like I do, but I must say that I loved the movie partly because I am familiar with the books, and the unique British wit that went into each line. No American moviemaker in his right mind would be able to make something like this.
The movie itself tells about the misadventures of Arthur Dent, your usual everyman in most aspects, who is trying to stop the government demolishing his house for a new freeway. In a quirk turn of events, the Earth itself is actually destroyed to make way for an interstellar highway, which is only part of Arthur Dent’s adventure cruising through the galaxy.
A definite must-watch for lovers of British comedy, science fiction, and perhaps those who love absolutely absurd and unnecessary movies.

Pakced As Hell!

I’m sure some readers notice that I have not posted anything here for at least a week; that’s because, well, finally, I’m trying to increase my effectiveness at work, whatever it is. This means more hours toiling away in front of the computer, or perhaps setting up and going to meetings; doing things with daily targets (it’s about time, man…) and sticking to them. Yeah, it’s about time I took myself to the next level and start to kick some ass!!
I am also starting to organize my life other than work, including timing my working out sessions, going out with friends, and everything. Although usually I was the organized type of person, at one point in time I decided I wanted to do everything more spontaneously and on-the-spot. This went rather well for a couple of years, but now the benefits of a more organized life is overshadowing that of a spontaneous life (well, not 100% organized, just more scheduled, that’s all) is beginning to settle in.
Time to start using that damn smartphone more effectively. Time to actually put down the task lists and appointments, instead of relying on my memory; as it’s getting to the point that it’s impossible to remember everything. Time to enforce some more discipline on myself, and perhaps my friends also… I even made a pact with Nelly that we would remind each other about work; at least motivate each other about work when things are just mundane.
Also… time to be more relaxed and start to enjoy life! Stop being so damn pessimistic! Start looking life in the eye and say “I got your game”.

wish me luck guys.


Somehow, I suprise even myself on how things move along so fast. Perhaps, they don’t really move as fast as I think or I would want it to, and things still actually linger in my head, but for now, I’m satisfied. Things are just exciting and interesting now. Well, I might be exaggerating a bit, but at least I do not have the negative outlook I had a few days before… and you know what? I’m not afraid of it ending anymore… I’m just enjoying the ride…
I don’t know what’s ahead, but at least the energy that has been gone for a while is back, and I’m going to whip myself back into shape…

The Interpreter

A political thriller, in many ways mirroring what is happening in the real world (or should), but somehow sombre and to an extent, old-fashioned. Unusually, this movie would make more impact if it were made, say, 3 years ago, but somehow it feels that it combines bits and pieces from other movies, used the U.N. headquarters as a centerpiece on the stage, and kind of just let everything pour out on the floor.
It’s not that the story, dialogue and structure is bad, but the glaring mistake of this movie was to put two top-notch character actors like Nicole Kidman and Sean Penn in this movie, where the characters could easily be replaced by anybody else. The characters gained depth from the story, not the characters giving depth to the story. We do not know more about the characters other than what we are given on the screen, and we are not compelled to think of it anyway. The sophistication of the movie is there, but somehow we’d feel that we’ve seen it all before, so hence for a thriller, it doesn’t give much of a thrill.
On the other hand, as a reminder of the sign of the times, the movie is mundanely notable.

Kingdom Of Heaven

An epic film regarding the defense of Jerusalem during the times of Christian conquest, though uncannily, it is depicted that there were Christian knights interested in maintaining the peace between Jerusalem and Saladin’s kingdom, and the Knights Templar who were interested in nothing other than killing Arabs (read: Muslims). It differs from what we hear (not read; I believe I have not read one single piece of authorative history on the era) of that the Christian Knights forced Christianity during the Crusades, or that the Muslim kingdom of Saladin was utterly merciless and barbaric.
In this movie, neither are depicted so (except the Knights Templar); I’d say that both sides are depicted just as even-handed as you can in such situations. All are just humans doing what they have to do for their people; some brutal, some compassionate. And it would strike a knife in every fanatic about the Middle East situation when Balian, the main character of the movie, asks Saladin, “What is Jerusalem worth?” Saladin answers… “Nothing….. and everything.” And although the movie is filled with splitting heads, stabs, and other variations of blood-spilling, the core of the movie still tries to tell us the virtues of the good heart, and the pricelessness of every single human being (and also how men abuse it so).
Visually, the movie is stunning, giving us a real window into the era, creating landscapes and cityscapes utterly believable, and for a layman’s point of view, authentic.
I hear that some Muslims here have spoken out against this movie, and possibly take it out of distribution, although I’m not sure because of what. Despite there are some incorrect depictions of praying in the movie, the movie itself does not give miscredit to the Muslims of that era. Perhaps they are afraid that after watching the movie, people will then sympathize with Christians or Jews, and God forbid that, right? That’s what I heard one friend saying about Schindler’s List, saying it will give people misperceptions and make the sympathize the Jews.
You know what I say? There is too much hate in this world as it is, let’s not add to it. God taught us to love, not hate each other. Leave everything else, like differing religions, up to ourselves, and ultimately up to Him in the end. With that note, Kingdom Of Heaven is worth watching.

Tough Decisions

Part of growing up, is making tough decisions. Having to make bad decisions, things that will surely be painful at first, but better off in the long run. Thinking about what would be good in the long run is supposedly related to adulthood, to ‘growing up’, to maturity in character and wisdom.
Somehow, everything we do today, ideally, is for the future, and we use the past (anybody’s past, for that matter) for reference. If that is the case, then how will we ever evolve? Then human life will be simple cycle, rather than ever-expanding branches of trees.
Those who innovate always went out on a limb, went against accepted wisdom, and just went ahead and did something. Always had some sort of fight with existing authority, whatever that may be, and always was not accepted at first, when society did not recognize its possible virtues. Of course, doing and succeeding are two different things, and the strength of character of these people depends on how many times they can take failure or rejection before actually getting some worthwhile results.
But should you still listen to other people, when everybody usually thinks the accepted wisdom as the truest? When should you listen, and when should you not? How does your logic play into this, when all you can rely on is your gut feeling and that little voice inside?

I have taken the safe road much too long; I have played it safe and logical much too long. The steps I take tomorrow will depend on how I can listen to both my heart and my logic at the same time, not get crazy about it, and do whatever’s best, for whatever cause. Let’s just throw the damn stone in the valley and see where it lands, instead of just thinking about throwing the stone.

Thus, tough decisions have to be made anyway.